bluminescence / [ crescentview ] ic inbox

[...]

Ah...

[ Kaspar pauses, but it's briefer this time in his attempts to keep up. ]

I suppose, because I feel less so, here.

[ Less under watch. Or at least, now under one he chooses to believe is more benevolent than otherwise. ]

winebar

[Hm.]

Well. I suppose at least, being freed of whatever all of our previous reputations were back home, should be some level of freedom from observation here. THough I'm suspecting you are suggesting a far more literal sort.

bluminescence

... I am.

[ But adds, ever drawn more towards the present in contrast to his home-- ]

But here, we are free to walk together like this whenever we like.

[ He faintly wonders how much warmer the other's hand might be. More than Trahearne's, the only other person he's taken a stroll with, he is sure. But Kaspar says nothing and his gaze wanders the trees with a warm smile. ]

edited (I hated it mb dhdb) 2022-12-12 04:35 (UTC)

winebar

[Van Zieks makes a soft noise of assent.]

People keep saying to me that I should take this as a vacation, and certainly, it presents itself as an ideal location for one.

You certainly seem glad to be here, Mr. Kaspar. Is there truly nothing else you feel your time would be better spent doing? Regardless of whether it's personally more preferable.

[Like listen would he like a vacation? Sure. Does he think he deserves one? Absolutely not, and thus he can't relax.]

bluminescence

[ Kaspar hums in agreement. It is a lovely place, he thinks. And the relative privacy of their natural surroundings does much to put Kaspar at ease. ]

Mm. I cannot say.

[ He admits, slowly but honestly. ]

... I suspect, I will not know what I like until I have attempted it.

winebar

[There it is again, a statement that makes him half wonder if there's just an empty space inside that head. Sir.]

... Do you not have a particularly wide breadth of experiences, then?
[He's getting.... a sense. A vibe if you will. It's the living inside a mountain bit, really.]

bluminescence

[ Kaspar laughs, a little caught off guard by the accuracy but not offended by it. He's the first to say it so bluntly, but it's not something to lie about. For once, his response comes easy. ]

I would believe that even if I did, I think.

winebar

[Well, van Zieks thinks, this explains why he'd be willing to be friends with someone like him, even after the warning! And why he seems at times fairly brainless!!! But he's clearly not stupid so much as... well, naive perhaps. And since van Zieks accepted the offer of friendship that means he needs to protect this man at all costs.]

I see. Well, I'm sure my own still pales in comparison to many, but you may rely on me for assistance where I am able to provide it, Mr. Kaspar.

bluminescence

...

[ Ah.

He's touched, really. Van Zieks is not the sort of man to make this type of offer lightly, Kaspar believes. And it makes him happy, whether he plans to take him up on it or not. ]

Thank you, very much. And you may rely on me too, when I am able to assist.

[ Kaspar recognizes part of the path then, stopping beside the opening to be sure. ]

edited (Htmll) 2022-12-12 06:59 (UTC)

winebar

[Of course he doesn't make it lightly. He only makes it to friends!!! It's like that one Persona 4 fancomic. You became friends with van Zieks! Van Zieks will now die for you.]

I should I hope I will not have to, but I will keep that in mind.
[He notes the pause, though.]

Is something the matter?

bluminescence

[ If only they could see one another's friendship meters.

There are a great many things that van Zieks knows better than Kaspar does, most other people here can claim the same. It is a fact that he is at peace with. But there are still a few things he probably knows better than most.

He shakes his head no, rocking on his heels once and still stopped before the break in shrubbery. His stomach announces his reasoning lowly, quiet enough that it is easy to miss in the crunch of branches beneath his leather boots. ]

... would you like to visit?

winebar

[It's a bit strange, van Zieks is used to being the quiet one in friendships. He's perfectly capable of being well-spoken when asked direct questions but isn't really one good at keeping up idle conversations. Now, however, Kaspar is much quieter and glip than he is. He doesn't actually mind it, but it definitely is different.

In any case, it's hard to miss that noise of hunger. It reminds him, a little, of how he'd impulsively invited Albert to dinner the day they'd met.]

If you're offering, I'm hardly keen to refuse.

bluminescence

I am.

[ Kaspar confirms, smile warm at the continual excuses van Zieks provides. It is as if he is giving himself permission. And every time, it somehow feels like he's being rewarded with the other man's presence.

Leaning against one tree trunk, Kaspar reaches up again with one arm to keep the branches out of their way. This path is wilder until it empties out closer to the well worn path to Kaspar's still run down farm. So, he pauses to guide them through the brief rough patch.

He holds his hand out for van Zieks, a polite habit since even though he can see in the dim underbrush lighting, there are rocks and loose soil hidden beneath the cover of bushes. ]

winebar

[van Zieks is torn, because on the one hand it's his baby sibling Instinct to resist being babied. On the other hand, he's unused as of late to someone treating him carefully and gently. After all, most people are afraid of the Grim Reaper of the Old Bailey. If they're not actively avoiding him they figure he's nigh invincible, vaguely supernatural as his reputation makes him out to be.]

I'm... you know you don't have to be so cautious with me, Mr Kaspar.
[He's not telling him to stop, though.]

bluminescence

... I have no doubt, Mr. Barok.

[ Kaspar agrees, sincerely. But his hand doesn't waver. And his smile makes it into his quieter tone, almost a light hearted whisper. ]

Though it is just us.

[ His hand holding is very respectful if van Zieks takes it, though he's no less careful with him than someone important (affectionately). ]

winebar

[Honestly he was close to just rejecting it out of habit, but then... It's true. No one else is here to see it.

Maybe he'd like to hold a hand. Especially one of his handsome and kind new friend. Even if Kaspar seems a bit head empty. That's fine. He can think of much worse things.

So after a long moment of hesitation, he takes that hand, cheeks coloring ever so slightly.]

If I'm honest, I'm surprised you're not more intimidated by me.

bluminescence

[ Kaspar finds he likes the color, how high he has to lift his arm and his gaze. But he decides to keep that, like most things, to himself. He's still holding his hand, not intimidated in the least when he asks-- ]

... wouldn't you dislike that?

winebar

[van Zieks almost stumbles at that assessment, for how strikingly perceptive it is, and for how... strange it feels to think that no one ever expressed that sentiment to him before.]

I...
[He looks away. Does he dislike being feared? He's always played the role. It was just as well people be afraid of him, it kept them at arms length. If he remained a solitary figure, no one else could be harmed by the tragedy of the van Zieks family. He couldn't lose anyone else if he had no one. That, and the fear of the Reaper reducing crime had always been why he'd maintained the act. But... Does that mean he liked it?

No, no of course it didn't. He hated it. He was miserable. Still.]

I'm used to it.

bluminescence

[ He'll let van Zieks take his hand back if he wants it, but Kaspar doesn't abandon it either. His patience is quiet and forgiving, comfortable. He doesn't even mind him not answering the question in words. Because understanding is here too, though Kaspar isn't one to linger on the past.

The worst part of standing guard in the grand halls or the streets had been frightened faces; a heavy feeling from the pit of his stomach. One he recieved punishment for soothing with funny faces. Beyond that, keeping his heart to himself kept their tragedies off his conscious.

Not that he thinks on any of that beyond the ghost of a familiar feeling. Because he is here in the moment and he likes holding hands. He reminds van Zieks with peaceful certainty-- ]

You needn't be, here, I don't think.

[ Not from him, at least, his smile says. ]

winebar

[It's true. There's no rumors of the Reaper, dispelled or not. No tragedy to befall anyone who gets close. He could start over. Be a different person. No one would know. But does he know how? They always say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. And even though he knows the truth now, and the Reaper is gone... there's so much that can't be fixed.]

I'm not sure if I know how to be anything else. I think... maybe I lost some part of myself that had that capacity ten years ago.
[Still.... he will keep up the handholding. It's discrete and comfortable enough he can not think TOO much about it.]

bluminescence

[ Kaspar keeps hold of his hand then, gentle as they go. The silence isn't too long, as if the small physical connection emboldens him.
Still, his voice is still soft. ]

... Is there any harm, in trying?

winebar

...
[It's his instinct to say yes. But he knows that's not the case anymore.]

I suppose not.
[He doesn't mind the silences, really. It's weird how much he doesn't.]

How did you know?

bluminescence

[ Kaspar is silent again, considering it. He isn't even sure which part van Zieks is asking about. He squeezes his hand, gently, admitting more before he thinks better of it. ]

... I don't, like it when people are scared of me either.